Thursday, September 3, 2009

Essentially Speaking

(JP) Ah, the Essential. Haven't seen that in God knows how long. Not when you cling to New York City - the ultimate staycation, and thus, something you can never truly rest within. The hustle, the bustle, the gum on your heels. The pedicure, the haircut, the laundry all still undone. And everytime it is done, it's for that cause -- the "event" of the weekend (although even the notion of ends to weeks is flipped on its head in this urban abyss). Nothing ends. It's all just beginning! And whatever you're doing downtown doesn't compare to up, Brooklyn had to wait because the UES was jumpin'. Somehow, we're in the center of it all and always still missing out.

So when you are blessed - especially in these days and times - to finally achieve some escape from the colossal jungle that is this town, the stress that goes along with it is nothing short of an abomination. Who submits to such a thing?? Stressing about vacation! Then why even take one? Where are you not when you keep panting and pining over the to-do that didn't get done? Well, you're in New York. Or you're in the Bay. Or you're just wherever you've been long enough to forget that getting away is hard; staying away nearly impossible; but if you can somehow trudge through the anxiety of grand planning, what you see at the peak is surely essential indeed.

That ever-elusive stillness. That sound of silence that hasn't hit my ears since sitting over a desert chasm in 2001. The hugeness of the world, which within these grey lines I cannot fully sense as I once did. That foreign feeling of not being needed in the place you left behind; but rather supported in your little venture, ideally missed, perfectly let go for a time. If only I can do the same.

Elsewhere truly is a Saint. So let us pray: That a type A-nxious planner remembers to pack her best eyes, her best ears, and her best heart. That these little things so big fall away for all that's bigger. That I forget who I am and let the world remind me who I'm not.

Still can't believe I didn't get my haircut for this.

1 comment:

  1. YESSSSSSSSSSSS first comment!

    have an amazing time on your euro trip!